Friday, June 5, 2015

284

I laughed so hard at 99 and Barry this morning, their May 1st, 2015 show. I was so alive in that laughter walking to the graveyard. I had to sit down and say it. I could feel that laughter hollow out my chest, like a bellow of joy. 

What I thought I was doing when I started this project was far less than what I am doing. I thought I was just trying to live my life, get in at least 1000 more dances. But I realized this morning that what I am actually doing is learning how to master being in the moment. Like yesterday starting out with that pigeon in the morning, scattering debris and leaves. Somehow this lead to baby goslings in Central Park in the afternoon, which lead to catching Alex Katz' painting of Kenneth Koch's face on the cover of KK's collected at a bookstore this evening.  Only $4!

And even though I want to tell these stories to you, because I love you, these words are only faint pointing toward the moment. Except when you read them,  because then we are in a different moment, together, and that is worthwhile too.

After writing the above I got up to dance again. I put the mix back and and a Richard Hell song came on. And I thought of Noel, who is friends with Richard Hell. And then I came upon this one doorway in the graveyard, a magic portal, where I always meet characters from my past and dance with them, or for them. This morning I didn't try to think of anyone, and not thinking of anyone reminded me of Walt Whitman's line about liking to inhale in the air without a trace of perfume. And suddenly this thought lead to Walt himself standing there, nearly in the flesh. There was almost a sexual spark in seeing him there, a feeling. He really did turn up under my bootsoles, in the hair of soldiers grown up as grass all around me. And he did it through words, translating his body back into words, complete alchemy. Words become flesh. Scripture. And then flesh becomes words. Scripture. And then words become flesh again, and there he is.


No comments:

Post a Comment